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Relationship Between Adolescence and High-Risk Behaviors – Part 2


Adolescence is a time of rapid change. In a span of just a few short years, teens transition dramatically in almost all realms of their lives. Physically, they grow in leaps and bounds and start to appear like mature adults.

Cognitively, their thinking becomes more sophisticated.

Socially, relationships are renegotiated, and teens develop the capacity to form deep intimate relationships with others. At the same time, the roles that they occupy in society also change.

Partly because teens start to look more mature, people surrounding them sometimes begin to treat them like adults — giving them mature responsibilities and adult expectations. While significant development occurs during the teen years, full maturity is by no means complete. Studies show that neurological development is not complete until the early 20s.

Decision-making and future-oriented thinking are not fully developed. Thus, while teens are entering into adult roles and while they may physically appear to be mature, teens might not be fully equipped to deal with these new tasks and challenges. For these various reasons, the teen years can be an especially stressful and fragile time, making adolescents more susceptible to engaging in risky behaviors and be unable to weigh their risks and benefits. At the individual level, youth who have low self-esteem, who have negative peer groups, and low school engagement or educational aspirations are more likely to engage in risky behaviors.

Family factors include poor parent-child communication, low parental monitoring (e.g., parents are unaware of youth’s whereabouts), and a lack of family support.

Not surprisingly, when parents themselves engage in risky behaviors, teens also are more likely to do so.

Finally, extra-family variables also play a role in the risk behaviors of youth.

Negative school climate, and poor (or no) relationships with non-parental adults also are at more risk for negative behaviors. For many, what actually happens during adolescence is that relationships are renegotiated rather than broken. This means that while changes occur in the relationship, most parents and teens continue to maintain a close relationship during these years.

This renegotiation and transition in the parent-child relationship is only natural as the teen is growing up and is having an increased capacity for reasoning, self-discipline and independence. As parents start to experience this ‘renegotiation,’ it is important to remember that parents continue to be the most important relationship in their teens’ lives. And while conflict and resistance might arise when parents show concern or discipline their teens, parents need to know that this is all part of the natural progression of relationships as their children grow. Here are several parenting strategies that parents might find helpful:

1. Act on teachable moments. Talking with teens does not always have to happen on planned one-on-one serious talks. Teachable moments, which are the best times during the day to talk, can emerge at various times of the day, often in the context of doing shared tasks or activities like cooking, driving home or dinner. Issues such as death, sexual behavior or substance abuse can come up anytime. Take advantage of these windows of opportunity, even when they are only 45 seconds long.

Parents who are aware and sense that youth need to talk will look toward these teachable moments.

They are more important over the long run than giving a long lecture.

2. Avoid useless arguing. This does not mean that parents have to avoid confrontation. Useless arguments are those that simply fuel hostility yet have no real purpose. It is important for parents to remember the following:

  • Avoid reasoning with someone who is upset, as it is futile. It is better to wait until tempers have cooled off before sorting out disagreements.
  • Do not feel obliged to judge everything their teen says. Parents and teens need to be able to agree or disagree.
  • Parents need not spend time talking teens out of their feelings. Teens have the right to be angry, confused, disappointed, hurt and insecure. Parents can acknowledge their teen’s reaction without condoning it. This type of response often defuses anger.
  • All this said, parents need not let disagreements dissuade them from talking to their teens. Studies show that parents who talk to their teens (and even disagree) still are closer to their children than those who avoid these types of conversations.

3. Be respectful. Parents get offended when children treat them discourteously.

Yet they need to be careful that they do not do the same to them.

Example: A parent would be very angry and offended if their teen used offensive and hurtful language. Parents also need to make sure that they are not verbally assaulting their teens.

4. Be willing to be unpopular. Parents need to accept that there will be times when adolescents will disagree with them and possibly even act as if they stop ‘liking’ them.

It is essential to remember that parenting (and not being a ‘buddy’) is a parent’s primary role. It is important to resist the urge to win their favor or spend too much time pleasing them.

5. Clearly communicate expectations. It is essential that parents pass along a strong sense of values. This is one of the fundamental tasks of being a parent. Teens cannot read their parents’ minds so it is important that parents clearly communicate what their expectations are in terms of behaviors and values. No matter how uncomfortable it may be, parents need to talk to their children about what’s right and wrong — about appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Again, look for those ‘teachable moments.’ For instance, a good time for these discussions might be while parents are driving with their teen. Not only does the parent have a captive audience, but they can also avoid the need for eye contact. This can help teens feel more comfortable.

6. Encourage participation in positive activities. One effective way of discouraging engagement in negative behaviors is to encourage participation in positive activities. Today, there are many activities that teens can be involved in which encourage the development of various competencies and are enjoyable. When teens develop a sense of competency in acceptable activities, they will feel worthy and accepted. In feeling competent, teens likely will have fun and reduce stress.

Parents need to assist youth in finding these opportunities. For instance, finding volunteer opportunities and developing a supportive network of family and friends will help buffer high-risk behaviors.

7. Focus on what is important. Adolescence is a time of identity seeking and experimentation of different roles. This can be irritating and bewildering to parents.

But as painful as it may be to watch, it is one way that teens learn to function on their own without having to consult their parents about every decision.

Guiding principle: Do not make a fuss about issues that are reversible or do not directly threaten your child’s or another person’s safety.

These issues include unwashed hair, a messy room, torn jeans and so on.

Parents need to save their concern and action for safety. Safety is a non-negotiable issue. Safety rules need to be stated clearly and enforced consistently.

Example: Drinking is not acceptable. If you have a party here, no beer or hard liquor is allowed … and an adult must be present at any party you attend.

8. Help teens learn from experience. No matter how hard parents want to protect their teens from risky behaviors, they cannot watch their teens 24 hours every day or protect them from every risk. When negative consequences arise, parents need to use those situations to help teens learn from experience. Sometimes, dealing with the consequences of their own actions inspires sensible behavior more effectively than any lecture or discussion.

Example: A father went away for the weekend and without permission, his son invited a few friends for a party with no adults present. Several other teens crashed the party, drank heavily and threatened to get violent. The boy felt he had lost control in his own house. After his father calmly talks to him about what happened, the son realizes his father was right in insisting that adults be there

9. Help youth make healthy decisions. Parents cannot be there all the time to help their children make healthy choices; thus, it is important to equip teens with the skills needed to make decisions on their own. An important skill in decision-making is assessing benefits and costs. In helping youth do this, one needs to be honest in helping teens look at the benefits and the costs of various behaviors. For instance, in talking to teens about smoking, parents need to be honest about both sides. Positive consequences might be that some people find it enjoyable or even “cool.”

Negative consequences include adverse health conditions, financial cost and the fact that it can give unpleasant odors.

Similarly, in talking about engaging in sexual behaviors, teens might consider the benefits (e.g., they feel close to someone and want to take the next step), but also consider the risks (e.g., STDs, emotional consequences).

10. Listen to your teen. The most important thing parents can do for their adolescents is to listen to them. Parents must recognize and respect the value of what they say. Too often parents dismiss or underestimate the significance of the pressure their children feel and the problems they face. Listening and valuing teens’ ideas is what promotes the ability of parents to effectively communicate with them.

Listening to a teen does not mean giving advice and attempting to correct or control the situation.

Sometimes all a teen might need is for parents to listen or be there for them. It is essential that teens understand that they are being heard.

Adolescence is a unique period of the lifespan. It is full of changes and challenges, but also of growth and opportunities. Adolescents are particularly susceptible to high-risk behaviors so parents and other concerned adults need to support youth as they go through this period. The process surrounding high-risk behaviors can be complex, and often it is not enough just to tell a child to ‘say no’ to engaging in these behaviors. Risk-behavior prevention must cover a wide range of issues that adolescents face in order to be most effective. Parents and community organizations must address issues such as family violence, psychiatric illness, poor interpersonal skills, learning deficits and the dysfunctional development that might be associated with such behaviors. Parents must clearly express their expectations, and must help equip youth to assess risks, to be assertive, and to have the self-esteem and forbearance to withstand external pressures that might push them toward behaviors that lead to negative outcomes.

The IEP Notebook – Guidelines & Glossary


Advocates agree that the best way to prepare for an IEP meeting for your child is to bring along an IEP Notebook.

I alway advise my clients to create two IEP Notebooks.

IEP Notebook – #1

Start with the notebook: Large with plastic pocket on front cover (to put your child’s picture and name on the front side and a calendar of the school year in the pocket on the back side)

  • 504 Plan and list of parents’ rights (Understand the laws before the meeting)
  • All IEPs and Notes from all IEP meetings
  • All of his/her school records, report cards, progress notes, and discipline records
  • District and Independent assessments
  • Examples of her/his school work
  • Formal and informal correspondence with all schools
  • Informal correspondence
  • List of involved professionals, student study team members, other resources
  • Logs of contacts with school, and a separate one to show contacts with other professionals outside school environment
  • Medical records/ medication logs
  • Parent/family observations outside of school
  • List of questions/ideas
  • List of your expectations for IEP – Prioritize the long-term goals (which will have the greatest impact for your child?) and short-term objectives

The IEP Notebook #2

Divide the notebook into 11 sections:

  1. Current IEP
  2. Past IEP’s
  3. IEP meeting information
  4. Assessments and testing information
  5. Important Contacts and Telephone numbers
  6. Medical and other vital records
  7. School information
  8. Your legal rights and relevant education laws in effect
  9. Information on Due Process
  10. Important relevant articles
  11. Glossary of Terms

The Glossary is filled with 78 pages of Special Education terms that you may be unfamiliar with, or unfamiliar with as they apply to material regarding IEP’s.  

This is a PDF file that is available for download and print out and may be immediately be inserted into your IEP Notebook. 

Dore E. Frances, Ph.D. continues her wonderful profession as an advocate and educational / therapeutic consultant.

www.familysolutionsteenhelp.com – Click here to order

She is covering many subjects for parents on blogs and is preparing other downloadable information that can be readily used for IEP meetings.

Dr. Frances was able to receive an 80% payment of residential treatment services for 2 years for her daughter as well as retroactive monies that had been denied. Her IEP Notebook, used at Mediation, was 500 pages.

The State Mediator was so impressed with the thoroughness of the 500 page IEP Notebook and documentation, she asked permission to use it as a training tool.

Here are some tips that will help you become your child’s best advocate!


Remember:

  1. Believe and trust in your own insight and intuition
  2. Believe in your child.
  3. Believing in your child is essential. No doctor, therapist, teacher, or anyone knows your child better than you do. You have lived with your child with a disability longer and more intimately than anyone else. Only you have the long perspective. The big picture. Trust that knowledge.
  4. Believing in your intuition is being able to trust yourself and those feelings you have. A hunch is usually a sign, follow your hunches.
  5. Information is power.
  6. The squeaky wheel gets greased.
  7. You are the change agent. You can do it

Educating yourself is critical. It is very important to learn what your child’s rights are before you can fight for them.

There are many sources of education and support in each state. There are advocates in your state. You can find them here:

  1. Yellow Pages for Kids with Disabilities
  2. Education.com
  3. Parents Helping Parents
  4. The Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates, Inc. (COPAA)

They are your allies and will prepare and support you. The more skills and information you learn the better you can advocate.

Other Tips:

1. Documentation — Keep a notebook

You must write down all the facts and keep ‘a paper trail.’ There are two different kinds of facts. One is objective and the other is subjective. Objective facts are the name, telephone number and title or position of the person you talk to. Don’t be afraid to ask.

Say “Just a minute, please, I need your name and title. I’m writing this down.” Facts are listing the questions you ask and writing down the given answers.

Put quotes around answers. Ask the person to repeat themselves or say “I heard you say that you do not think Ken can be in your day care center because he has a wheelchair.

Is that what you said?” Write it down. It is okay to say that you are writing the response into a notebook. If you get an answer you don’t agree with, don’t understand or you know is wrong, say so.

Always ask for the statement to be sent to you in writing.

Say, “Please send me a copy of that in writing.” You make this request when you are talking with educators, insurance companies, Medicaid, a community agency, hospitals, landlords, restaurant owners and others. Keep a file folder or box or drawer for the written replies and paperwork you will receive. When you have time, organize it either chronologically or by subject. Subjective facts are your thoughts about either a person or an event that occurred. Did the person act friendly? Ignorant? Were they willing to talk with you?

Were they evasive? Just jot down a couple of words or sentences to remind you what kind of conversation you had. Remember, keep your notes on facts and opinions in one place, either on a computer or in an organized notebook. This is a quick and easy way to make sure that your notes are not here and there, but easy to find. Over the years, you’ll see why having your notes together is a time-saver. Date your notes and thoughts.

2. Letter Writing

After the phone call, sit down and write a short letter which states that you just talked and this is what transpired on the phone. Keep it as objective as possible by stating the facts.

At the top of the letter reference the subject, e.g., “Re: Occupational Therapist Still Not Hired,” or “Re: Second Request For Payment of Physical Therapy Sessions.” To give your letter real muscle though, there’s a simple technique called “cc” or “carbon copy.” This is at the end of the letter and it’s to let the recipient know that you mean business. You “cc” your letter to their boss, or the agency head that administers the program.

Using two or more cc’s can be useful: you can “cc” an advocacy organization such as the national UCP office or the affiliate, or the parent training center, and your state legislators or U.S. Senator or Representative. Don’t worry about whether or not your Congressperson cares or not.

They do. This is one “cc” that will do more good in the long run than any other. The people who amend, authorize the funding or change the laws of the land need information from you. When there is no law or regulation, they can make new ones.

Your voice is very important. They need you to keep them informed.

3. Legal Representation Or Alternate Dispute Resolution

You can hire a lawyer later if you need to or if you opt to utilize a formal Alternate Dispute Resolution process when it’s available or offered. Your state has a Protection & Advocacy agency and your county has a legal services office. With your documentation and knowledge of the facts and a feeling about what is going on you will save time and attorney’s fees, and personal aggravation, by having your records straight. You will also know a great deal and be able to figure out if the mediator or lawyer is competent and knowledgeable about disability issues.

You cannot assume that the Domestic Relations lawyer, that you used for your divorce, for instance, also understands how Special Education law works or that an appointed mediator, for instance, knows what a Personal Assistance Services caregiver is. Like all professionals you will be involved with, they are paid for their expertise and services and it is you who hires or consults them.

Always get several referrals first and then “interview” the professional when possible, to see if you can work with them. Again, trust your intuition and observations.

You can say “I’m shopping for an (attorney) (doctor) (dentist) who understands disability. I’ll get back to you when I decide what to do.”

4. Meetings

When a meeting is scheduled at a time you can’t attend, ask for it to be postponed. Propose an alternative time. When you know you are going to be late, call and let them know. Be sure you know the purpose of the meeting. This will establish what your role is and will help you focus on what your child needs to have happen. Be prepared.

If you are going to change the IEP, have your suggestions in writing, preferably typed, with extra copies. Take a moment at the start of the meeting to write the name of everyone in the room and their title.

Don’t hesitate to ask “Just a minute, how do you spell your name?” Bring a tape recorder if you want to. Bring a friend or advocate for support. Introduce the person. If you don’t understand something that is happening in the meeting, or emotions flare, ask for a break. Say “I think I need a break. I’m going into the hall for ten minutes.” Use the time to collect your thoughts.

Avoid being in a position where you swear or will regret later words you used. Take notes during the meeting when you can. When the meeting is “going nowhere” say so. Propose another meeting.

When substantial gain is made during the meeting, write a follow-up letter clarifying what you think was decided or happened. “CC” all the attendees or others who are interested in the outcome.

5. Phone calls

Write the date, time, name and title, and telephone number of the person you are talking with in the notebook. Write ahead of time the questions you will ask leaving space for the answers you get.

Realize that a phone call can be forgotten — or denied. Talk to the ‘power’ person or the person who has the critical information you want. It may take a while to get to the person who has the authority to state policy so persist in trying to reach a person of authority.

Call an agency and say, “Who is the person responsible for putting together the IEP team?” “May I speak with the policy expert on the Medicaid state plan?” “Who is it who determines the transportation schedule for school buses?” “Who is the expert on assistive technology funding in our school district?” If you don’t know what an IEP is or if you don’t know if your child is eligible for Medicaid, that is the call you need to make tomorrow.

When you make a call, leave pleading and begging behind. Simply say, “Hello. This is Matt All calling for Mrs. Andersen.” Period.

You can say, “My son can’t see very well and has cerebral palsy.

What are the steps I must take to get him enrolled in an extended school year program?” or “How and where do I apply for Social Security for my disabled son?” Be as direct as you can with your initial request. You do not need to explain your story or request in detail to everyone. You don’t have to give the medical terminology for your child’s disability. Just keep it simple and straightforward.

And keep it to the facts. It is easy to begin to explain the ins and outs of what you’ve been through: however, save that for your friends, family and support groups. Deal with administrators and service delivery people in a businesslike manner.

When the person is not available, simply say, “Please ask Mr. Apple, Supervisor to return my call. My number is –.”

When a message is requested, and you may volunteer to leave one as well, make it strong and to the point. “I am calling about the bus picking the kids up an hour early each day” or “I’m calling about the teacher who called my daughter ‘retarded’,” or “I’m calling about my son’s application into the summer recreation program.” Ask when you can expect a return call. Write that down.

When you don’t get a return call when you should have, call back.

Call back if you don’t succeed in reaching the right person the first time. Ask, “Who should I be talking to, then?” When they seem unhelpful or to be avoiding you, write it down. Keep a record of these referrals and if they are passing the buck, say so: “Look, I’m getting annoyed. Mrs. Barnes referred me to Mr. Bath who referred me to you and now you’re referring me to Mrs. Barnes!”

When you are given approval over the phone, be sure to say thank you and ask for written confirmation to be sent to you the next day.

File this with your other documentation.

6. Use of Anecdotes

Anecdotes are stories to make a point. They are used to give examples. This is a particularly useful tool if you meet face-to-face with an elected representative or are asked to testify at a public hearing or public meeting or are writing a Letter To The Editor of a newspaper. People remember anecdotes. For example, if you want to complain about unresponsiveness or insensitivity of the school system to your child, you could talk about your child’s IEP goals and explain how they are not being implemented. OR, you could say:

“My son Michael is in regular kindergarten. He can’t talk. He uses sign language and a machine which talks for him when he pushes buttons. The teacher asked the children to bring in a favorite stuffed animal at story sharing time. Michael brought in his Snoopy, who he carries with him all the time. When it was his turn, the teacher wouldn’t let him use his voice machine. She said it was disruptive and distracting to the other children. She has not learned his signs, so no one understood what he was doing with his hands. Michael stood in front of the class, silent. The teacher and children stared at him for a while and then she instructed him to sit down. He threw himself to the floor and had a temper tantrum. The teacher told the aide to take him out of the room for “time out.” She then reported that Michael was becoming a problem child in her class and asked the principal to work out a behavior modification program.”

A story in short declarative sentences is easier to understand than going into a lot of detail and opinion.

Find a powerful story to make your point, and use it. Advocacy is its own reward and there will always be something to advocate for in this imperfect world. Accept that you cannot win all the time and that many goals may take months or years to reach. Give yourself a break now and again! Pick your battles!

You’ll have ample opportunity over the years to fight many, so choose them and space out your energy. And be creative — there is no limit on the tactics parents can choose as they advocate for what it is right for their child with a disability.

One parent may leaflet all the teachers’ mailboxes to argue for inclusion of their child with Down Syndrome into a regular education classroom and win; another parent may launch a full-scale litigation effort to win.

Different circumstances require different actions and strategy on your part. With each achievement, no matter how small, take a moment to congratulate yourself for a job well done. Have a party with your family or friends when you finally get Medicaid to pay for the specially adapted toilet seat, when you secure SSI for your child, or you get the “okay for payment” for extended school year over the summer.

Share the gladness of the moment when your child gets on the bus with his sister to go to the neighborhood school, or your young adult daughter with disability gets a job after a year of searching.

You’ll know you are an advocate when you feel like you have had to decide between being popular or being respected. In the long run, being respected will do more for your child than trying to keep everyone pleased. This might sound like I am suggesting you have to fight for everything and be combative. I am not saying exactly that.

I am saying, however, that as you work to make sure your child’s legal and social rights are won — because, unfortunately, they are not automatically provided or extended to your child — you will feel and act differently.

And it will be worth it!

It is your right, your responsibility and your duty to speak up and out!

Disclaimer:  This article is designed to increase public awareness. Its content is presented for informational and educational purposes only, and is not to be construed as professional advice on medical, legal, technical or therapeutic matters.  By accessing and using the information, you agree to waive any rights to hold the Horizon Family Solutions, or any individual and/or group associated with this site, liable for any damage that may result from the use of the information presented.

What are Therapeutic Wilderness Programs?


Many social critics argue that today’s youth face more serious and critical risks than any previous generation. Parents are convinced that their children face a major crisis. Most experts will agree that violence in schools, deteriorating family structure, substance abuse, alarming media images, and gang activity put teens at risk. Wilderness programs use physical activity, exposure to the wilderness, and therapy to help participants through what might be considered “a rough patch” in their lives. Unlike juvenile detention centers, most wilderness programs, at least all the ones I recommend, do not use behavior modification strategies. Instead, they are non-confrontational and rely on exposure to nature to teach students about responsibility, reliability and resourcefulness.

Format

In most therapeutic wilderness programs, students join a group and stay in the field for a period of 42 to 74 days. At times it may be longer depending n the needs of the teen. Groups, which typically vary in size from four to 12 members, cook, engage  in activities that match their surroundings and time of year (weather), help with local community needs (when applicable for the student), gather kindling, engage in academics, learn new skills, meet with their therapist, participate in groups, write in their journal and write letters home.  Some programs focus on survival skills, such as making fires, cooking, first aid, minimal impact camping, hiking, route-finding and primitive living. Each participant has a responsibility to the group and themselves. Safety is ensured by expert trained field staff.

Although these programs do not work directly with insurance companies many parents have been successful in getting a portion, if not all, of the costs reimbursed through their insurance company. Upon completion, the program  can break down all therapeutic costs, which include (on the average) individual therapy weekly, group therapy twice weekly, and group processing daily. In addition, they will break down admissions fees, gear fees and residential fees when requested


Participants

Participants in wilderness therapy programs usually fall in the “at-risk youth” category. At-risk teens are in danger of making poor life decisions because of environmental, social, family and behavioral issues. Students are usually between 13 and 17; after that age, parents are no longer legally able to make decisions for their child. There are therapeutic wilderness programs for pre-teens as well as young adults, so everyone can benefit from this experience when needed.

The reasons a child is sent to a therapeutic wilderness program vary, but common issues include adoption struggles, clinical needs, drug and alcohol abuse, family challenges, gang involvement, low self-esteem, prescription drug abuse, running away, stealing, violence, depression, promiscuity, antisocial behavior and poor academic performance.

Theory

By removing children from their comfortable environment and bad influences, a therapeutic wilderness program removes distractions that can hinder insight while in therapy. Students do not have access to cell phones, cars, computers, televisions, their usual friends, family, drugs, or alcohol. They focus on things such as: admitting to what was and has really been going on at hem and in school; behaviors that have caused troubles; academic failure; feelings of depression; eating healthy; making amends with their family; new coping skills; open communication; responsibility for themselves and how their actions affect others. Therapeutic wilderness programs use a “no-resistance” approach, meaning force and confrontation are not used and children must improve based on the natural consequences of their actions.

Students quickly see and feel the impact of their actions.

Therapy

Therapeutic wilderness programs involve several forms of direct and indirect therapy. The experience of being in the wilderness — exposure to unfamiliar settings, learning new skills, and deprivation of normal everyday comfortable items — is itself a major component of therapy. Students work with licensed therapists to finish assignments and work through their problems; therapists do not usually stay with groups, but visit once or twice a week. Many wilderness programs also use less formal forms of group therapy to process lessons, improve communication and air grievances. Therapeutic wilderness programs are clinically driven treatment models.


Wilderness Programs

The Family Solutions Teen Help website has some of the best therapeutic wilderness programs listed.

Many are located in the West, where the expanses of wilderness are used as field areas for groups. Many are located in Arizona, Colorado, Idaho, Oregon and Utah.

About the Author

Dore Frances, Ph.D .began her small independent therapeutic consulting practice as an Advocate for children with learning disabilities in Pacific Grove, California in 1988. In her work as a Child Advocate, she became familiar with the processes and strategies families develop to find appropriate educational matches for their children. He written work has appeared in Monterey County Herald, Seventeen Magazine, and numerous other journals. A frequent traveler to all programs and schools she recommends, she also has penned articles about different types of programs. Dr. Frances has a Master’s Degree in Child & Family Studies and a Doctorate of Applied Human Development in Child and Family Development with an emphasis in Diverse Families and a minor in Child Advocacy.

Horizon Family Solutions, LLC commitment to clients.

How to Build Up Your Self-Confidence and Get IEP Services for Your Child


Dore E. Frances, Ph.D. will be offering Parent Training and Information Seminars starting in March 2012.

These seminars are mainly for parents, especially those that are “beginners” in the IEP process, however, anyone wanting to learn more information is welcome to attend or schedule a seminar in your area or at your program or school.

Parents will learn valuable assertive communication techniques so that they are able to ask and answer questions in an unthreatening manner during an IEP meeting and while communicating with the IEP team, of which they are a part.

This is a very understandable and down to earth seminar, with step-by-step instructions that each parent can take with them and use.

Parents will be delighted with these seminars because they are spoken to from a parent perspective – which is very hard to find. If you would like to privately schedule a seminar for a group, this also works out very well. These seminars are a powerful way to learn how to be an effective advocate for your child.

~ Each public school child who receives special education and related services must have an Individualized Education Program (IEP). Each IEP must be designed for one student and must be a truly individualized document.

The IEP creates an opportunity for teachers, parents, school administrators, related services personnel, and students (when appropriate) to work together to improve educational results for children with disabilities. The IEP is the cornerstone of a quality education for each child with a disability.

Session One. Assertive vs. Non-Assertive – Which Are You?

“Being Assertive Is Not My Style”

Assertiveness is … Assertiveness is Not …

Assertive and Unassertive Statements

~ To create an effective IEP, parents, teachers, other school staff–and often the student–must come together to look closely at the student’s unique needs.

~ These individuals pool knowledge, experience and commitment to design an educational program that will help the student be involved in, and progress in, the general curriculum. The IEP guides the delivery of special education supports and services for the student with a disability. Without a doubt, writing–and implementing–an effective IEP requires teamwork.

Session Two. Developing Your Positives – Eliminating Your Negatives

How to Build Up Your Self-Confidence and Develop a Positive Attitude About Yourself

Let Your Body Say Positive Things About You

How to Get Off the Guilt Trip

How to Get Out of the Intimidation Trap

How to Put Down the Put-Down

How to Get Around the Runaround

When They Call You Aggressive

Can You Really Listen?

Building the Parent-Professional Communication Gap

How a Parent Group Can Help You Be Assertive

Are you a Leader – or Just a Parent?

Laugh Your Way to Assertiveness

The IEP team gathers to talk about the child’s needs and write the student’s IEP.

Parents and the student (when appropriate) are part of the team. If the child’s placement is decided by a different group, the parents must be part of that group as well.

Session Three. Assertiveness at Special Education Meetings

When You Know It – Flaunt It

How to Assert Yourself at Your Child’s IEP Meeting

Gaining Access to All of Your Child’s Records

How to Prepare for a Successful Due Process Hearing

Is a Lawyer Necessary?

If the parents do not agree with the IEP and placement, they may discuss their concerns with other members of the IEP team and try to work out an agreement.

~ If they still disagree, parents can ask for mediation, or the school may offer mediation. Parents may file a complaint with the state education agency and may request a due process hearing, at which time mediation must be available.

Session Four. Assertiveness Exercise for Parents

Assertive Responses for Those Old Excuses

Repeat! Repeat! Repeat!

How to Shovel Your Way Out of those Bureaucratic Snow-jobs

How to Escalate Your Way to Services

Using the Negative to Build Your Positives

The “No You Can’t But I Can” Technique

The school makes sure that the child’s IEP is being carried out as it was written.

Parents are given a copy of the IEP.

~ Each of the child’s teachers and service providers has access to the IEP and knows his or her specific responsibilities for carrying out the IEP. This includes the accommodations, modifications, and supports that must be provided to the child, in keeping with the IEP.

Session Five. Assertiveness with Bureaucrats and Public Officials

Put It in Writing

How to Influence People Instead of Just Making Friends

How to Negotiate with Bureaucracies

How to Assert Yourself with Politicians

How to Stack Public Hearings to Win Your Battles

How the Press Can Help You Get Services

Others Who Are Winning by being Assertive

What if I Fail?

~ The child’s IEP is reviewed by the IEP team at least once a year, or more often if the parents or school ask for a review. If necessary, the IEP is revised. Parents, as team members, must be invited to attend these meetings.

~ Parents can make suggestions for changes, can agree or disagree with the IEP goals, and agree or disagree with the placement.

Session Six. Assertiveness Success Stories

Assertiveness – My Legacy to My Daughter

How My Daughter Changed My Personality and Taught Me to Be an Assertive Parent

My Path to Assertiveness – It Changed How I Serve Families

Sometimes Assertive, Sometimes Supportive

Time’s Up for Time Out – Legislative Assertiveness

~ By law, the IEP must include certain information about the child and the educational program designed to meet his or her unique needs.

Session Seven. Resources

Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates

Family Resource Centers

A Parent’s Guide to Special Education Rights

Parent Training and Information Centers

Federal Agencies

Wright’s Law

~ Sample IEP forms will be presented

Dore E. Frances, Ph.D.

Founder

Horizon Family Solutions, LLC

6525 Gunpark Drive / Suite 370-335

Boulder, Colorado   80301

740-446-0188

Dore@Dorefrances.com

Sunrise


Residential Treatment Program and Boarding School for Teen Girls

At Sunrise, we know that every girl is different. Because your daughter possesses a unique constellation of experiences, talents, relationships, and struggles, Sunrise offers a teen residential treatment program that is customized to meet her special needs. Sunrise works to uncover the academic, social, and emotional potential of girls who have been held back by emotional or behavioral struggles. Our staff knows that in school and treatment one size does not fit all, so we meet your daughter right where she is and design a program that changes with her as she grows confident, secure, and healthy during treatment. All aspects of our program are designed to form a healing milieu that combines the warmth of a home, the safety and clinical expertise of a residential treatment program, and the community access of a transition program. As a result, many students who would otherwise need two or three programs can move through their entire healing process – from treatment to their transition back home or off to college – all at Sunrise, quickly, effectively, and affordably.

New Haven


RESIDENTIAL TREATMENT PROGRAM AND BOARDING SCHOOL FOR TEEN GIRLS, AGES 12-18

At New Haven, we base our treatment decisions on a simple question: What would I want for my daughter?

We know that underneath her struggles – whether with an eating disorder, substance abuse, trauma, or another challenging emotional issue – your daughter is still there, waiting to be discovered, loved back to wholeness, and reunited with her family. After fifteen years working together, our treatment team is one of the most experienced in the field of girls’ adolescent treatment. We know from experience that girls struggling with complex emotional and behavioral issues need access to a variety of proven therapies. Experience has also taught us that even the most clinically sophisticated approaches to treatment are only effective if those delivering them come from a place of connection, compassion, and hope.

Hello Everyone!


Are you worried about your teens recent behavior?
You are not alone! 
Parents of troubled pre-teens, teens and young adults across the country are realizing that they need help dealing with daughter or son that is making poor decisions. And they are discovering that they are not alone.
While it can be devastating to learn that your child has fallen into the wrong crowd or has begun to make decisions that will destroy their lives, it is not something to be embarrassed about or to try to hide from others.
It is a time to take action!
Making a decision. 
The most important thing that you can do as the parent, is decide which type of addiction program, behavior program, clinical setting, eating disorder center, intensive therapy program, learning challenge program, medical facility, wilderness adventure program or school is best suited to deal with the issues facing your pre-teen, teen or young adult. 
Make sure you do your research. Learn about the attitudes, philosophies and treatments that these different organizations will use to help a troubled teen. Whenever possible, take the time to visit facilities and meet the academic and therapeutic staff of these organizations. 
Where do I get help for my troubled teen? 
As you begin to research what avenues of help are available, you will discover that there are many, many options.
There are literally thousands of organizations designed to help troubled teens.
This blog is dedicated to those in the industry that may meet your needs.  You can find out more information on www.familysolutionsteenhelp.com.

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